Beware though, because not every trade show promotional giveaway is a gift made in heaven:

Dr. Snip – The Vasectomy Clinic

This has got to be one of the cruelest promotional gifts of all time and one which we cannot look at without wincing.

Arranging for a Swiss Army knife to be customized for a vasectomy clinic has got to be one of the bravest marketing decisions ever made and as every male reader will attest, this is no laughing matter!

These Are Not Indian Condoms

An unnamed Indian company was promoting their wares in the rubber market, in fact they are one of the leading manufacturers of condoms on the sub-continent.

Unfortunately, they are also one of the world’s leading manufacturers of finger cots, the small, individual rubber covers for fingers which are used in a multitude of industries.

Due to a mix up at the factory, the Indian stand was handing out samples of condoms which in reality contained finger cots, leading to some obvious comparisons of manhood size between there and here.

Candy Means repeat Dental Business

A recent trade show had a dental practice espousing its state of the art sedation dentistry practice with no needles and far fewer visits required to complete dental procedures.

Perhaps they were sending out the wrong message with their gum clip candy holders though – as responsible dental practitioners shouldn’t they have been using something like an apple?

This isn’t a bad promotional gift but a good example of a very bad application of a good gift.

This is Why We’re Vegetarian!

A vegetarian awareness and advocacy group tried to make an impression at a trade show for meat packing and processing companies.  They were overwhelmed with the response they received for their awareness poster which was being snapped up by attendees in droves.

To save money and to promote their ecological credentials, they had arranged for their poster to be printed on the reverse side of consignment of waste paper held by the printer – it had already been printed with a cutaway diagram explaining where the best cuts of meat come from on an animal!

Ever Wonder What a Surgeon Gives His Kids?

Possibly the worst, or the best, in promotional giveaways – we introduce Mr Spleen, Mr Heart, Mr Stomach and after all that heavy digestion, Mr Urinary Bladder.

These are just the thing for junior to cuddle up to after a bedtime story about how dad, or mom, completed their 1,000^th prostrate removal or kidney stone procedure.

When you’re looking to soften the blow when telling your kids how your job involves sticking your fingers up someone else’s whatever and that they have to work hard at school so they can become qualified to do exactly the same thing too, then it makes sense you have to expose them to this yucky stuff from a very early age.

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In these uncertain economic times, everybody’s searching for a way to better ensure their financial future. Because gold tends to perform well when the rest of the market is tanking, people have been increasingly looking to gold as a way to help diversify their portfolio and prevent the losses that can occur in a volatile, downward trending market. Buying gold is also a great option for people who are interested in having tangible, permanent currency in their possession, which can be used no matter what’s happening in the world. For these reasons, gold is becoming a hot investment option.

If you’re interested in joining in this modern-day gold rush, it can be a little confusing to navigate the field of gold investing. It generally entails buying physical gold, but what kind of gold should you buy?

How Gold is Graded

Gold is graded according to its quality and purity, which is measured in karats. Karats denote the extent to which pure gold has been mixed with other alloys; gold on its own is very soft and malleable, so in order for it to be formed into usable objects like jewelry it needs to be mixed with other metals.

Investment Grade Gold

24 karats is the highest purity rating gold can receive, meaning it has not been mixed with any alloys. 22 karats is the second step down from pure gold. Most investment grade gold is going to be in the higher range of the karat spectrum, so if you’re looking to buy gold for investment purposes, most people think that a general rule of thumb is the higher the karats the better. This means that most investment grade gold is going to be 22 or 24 karats.

What About Jewelry?

Jewelry tends to have a lower karat rating because it needs to be stronger and less malleable, meaning it’s generally mixed with a higher percentage of alloys to ensure its durability. Because it’s not as pure, jewelry grade gold (8 karats to 18 karats) may not be a good option for people looking to buy gold as an investment.

The Most Common Form

The most popular forms of investment grade gold are bullion bars and coins. “Bullion” simply refers to the fact that this gold’s value is determined based solely on its purity and weight (in comparison with jewelry, for example, whose value is determined based on esthetic values as well). When you’re shopping around for gold, keep in mind that bars and coins of 22 or 24 karats are the purest and most stable. If you’re looking to buy gold bars and coins, or are just interested in learning more, a gold broker, like those at www.sbcgold.com, can help you find the gold that’s right for you.

Google Rankings are Earned, Not Entitled

“If you build it, they will come!”, may be a maxim many follow when creating a website, but the reality comes as a cold, freezing slap across the face for most.  Generating traffic to your site is crucial if it is to provide any meaningful impact on your business in terms of profit, sales and generating brand awareness, but this takes more than a great looking website – it takes a lot of planned and recurring effort to promote your website to both the search engines, such as Google, and to human visitors who have money to burn.

Think for a moment about what a website is.  A good analogy is to look at a website as being a billboard on the side of a road – the more cars driving along that road, then the greater the response and impact from the billboard.  How good the billboard is helps a lot to convert drivers, but to have any impact at all, you need the billboard labeled somewhere where people will see it to begin with.

Imagine your website is a billboard which is in the middle of a desert and only rarely does a car pass by.  Fortunately, the satellite navigation systems of all these drivers can detour them past your billboard, provided you offer something of value.  These satellite navigation systems are the search engines and of them all, Google is the largest and most important.  If you convince Google to send you traffic, you stand a much better chance of achieving your online business objectives.

Therein is the crucial key – you must convince Google and the other search engines to send you traffic.

This means there is a lot of work to do in promoting your website which goes beyond simply providing a lot of content.  For a start, the content you do use must be relevant and optimized for the search terms which are likely to generate the traffic to begin with.  This requires website owners to research key phrases extensively so they have a good grasp on what their potential customers are using to find information in the net in connection with their service and product offering.  The content and website coding, then needs to be optimized with this keyword research in mind.

It is almost impossible to get a high ranking in Google without obtaining an extensive network of other websites linking to yours.  A link from another website is considered to be a vote of confidence in your own site, and this in turn is rewarded with a higher ranking.  To be of value, a link must come from a site which is relevant – there is little value in a link from a website selling flowers when you are selling hi-tech electronics.  Link building is a definite art which requires a lot of tact, diplomacy and negotiation between website owners in order to optimize the impact on search engine rankings.  It is time consuming and a good link portfolio is not built in a few days or weeks.

Search engines are not the only game in town either – a considerable amount of user time is being spent on social media sites, such as Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter and MySpace.  Building a great site is only one aspect of your online business presence; perhaps it is better to regard the website as the commercial focus around which you will build a network of online sites which point back to the main website.  Blogging, Facebook fan pages, article marketing, Twitter tweeting and a whole lot more should be considered to spread the word about your fantastic website loaded with lots of relevant content, but all of this is going to take time.

Gaining a high Google rank is something which takes patience and a lot of hard work and even more to maintain that high ranking once it is achieved.  This means that successful website management must adopt a reiterative approach to promotion and constantly work at improving the site and site marketing to open the search engine flood gates which will direct potential customers to your online billboard.

Shell Harris, Big Oak SEO

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Virginity Soap

They have really narrowed their market with Virginity Soap. Does the cashier perform some sort of medical test to authenticate you can purchase this soap?

Beauty Nipple

The scary part about this, aside from the skanky message, is it looks to be packaged for children and in a children’s store. Well, all parents want their kids to “stand” out, and I guess this will do it.

Buttocks Bra

I had to look twice and make sure those weren’t breasts. Nope those are butt cheeks. I think someone made too many bras and didn’t know what else to do with them. This is a really bad idea.

Milk Screw

This is lip balm, so the product isn’t unusual. But I can’t imagine using the word “screw” would increase the sale of any product that wasn’t porno-riffic.

RetarDEX Toothpaste

Really? No one caught this? Thousands of dollars if not hundreds of thousands are spent on research and no one picked up on this? What about an overactive group for the rights of the mentally-challenged? Really?

Miracle Boober

I had no idea boob could be used as a verb: boober. Just how does one “boob”?

Muff-So-Soft

I can’t say anything about this for fear of legal action. Sometimes a picture needs no words.

Pore Vacuumer

This sounds so violent, but lucky the femme fatale holding the large firearm should let you know how gentle it really is. Bonus:  See the wording “Ghassoul?” How would you pronounce that? I thought so.

Sexy Motherpucker

How many sexually charged words can we find. Let’s count, shall we? Sexual, Sexy, plumping, explode and motherpucker. Not bad for a small box and its a world exclusive.

Squid Soap

Everyone knows what a chore it is to get small children to wash their grubby little hands. I’m sure telling them to put their hands under a tentacled creature will make the job that much easier. What’s next? Shark-faced tooth brushes?

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WWF – Fur is murder and this print ad hits that idea home with sardonic twist.

BreatheRight – Snoring, trains and nostrils

Panasonic Nose Hair Trimmer – The logistics alone make this an ad worth applauding.

Rowenta  – Duck hunting with your Vacuum Cleaner

Zoo – This ad for a zoo makes me want to take a taxi.

Just Soap – This makes me cringe and then nauseous.

VW Ad – Absurdly Lo Consumption…for the art crowd, obviously.

Recycle: Everything You Throw Away Comes Back Like a Yo-Yo.

FordFocus -Hi-end Sound System With Wheel Mounted Instruments

ISCA – Took a second for me to realize the faucet is facing the wrong direction.

10 Creative Print Ads

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With the rise of technology, the world has become simultaneously much larger and surprisingly smaller.  While our new connections serve to introduce us to new experiences and previously unknown cultures, we are also being given the opportunity to see the similarities we share with others from around the globe.  On a daily basis, people are allowed to see more and more of a world that, for most, existed only in textbooks and on movie screens.  The characteristics of countless cultures have begun to migrate outside the traditional geographic boundaries of their native lands to make a place for themselves in the realm of a much more globally minded culture.  When it comes to marketing and advertising, those in the business are now being faced with the challenge of appealing to a much more diverse (and sometimes more adventurous) populace.

Marketers can seldom rely on the previously held standards of cookie-cutter America.  Determining methods of advertising with universal appeal can prove to be a daunting task.  Faith and spirituality, fashion, art and history all play a major part in determining what every culture may or may not find to their liking.  Advertisers must have an ever increasing awareness of their audience; otherwise, they may run the risk of alienating or overlooking potential consumers.  People are often fiercely loyal to their native cultures and ignoring or insulting their customs or beliefs can be detrimental to the message advertisers are trying to communicate.  There is value to be found at every corner of the globe, and by exhibiting respect and reverence where it is due and being mindful of the ever-increasing diversity of the average consumer group, marketers can find opportunities for growth and expansion that they may have never considered.

Some advertisers are much more comfortable dealing with specifications and technical information, because specifications are precise and exact.

Or perhaps they prefer to pay more attention to the text, because they feel that facts and argument always carry the day in any sort of advertising.

And of course some feel that illustrations and photos are all-important, because imagery is hard to refute.

What, then, does color do, and why is it an important component of the printed media used in a good marketing effort? Here are some ways we might look at this issue in order to understand it a little better:

1)    Color unifies. Similar color patterns and themes throughout all of your printed media send a message that everything you say and do follows a unified pattern.

2)    Color makes a statement. There is a theory that different colors make statements. Although this is a highly subjective way of looking at things, people do accept, for example, that red stands for aggression, and blue is “cool” – that sort of thing. There’s no reason to live or die according to traditions such as this, but they can be taken into consideration.

3)    Color highlights. Color can be used to draw the eye to a certain area of a page. It’s a subtle way of saying ‘You need to pay more attention to this.’

4)    Color contrasts. Colors can be made to contrast with one another, and this can draw the eye to a key area of a page. Contrasts by nature draw attention, and again it’s a subtle visual clue that does the job.

5)    Color complements. A soft color as background for difficult technical matter might be a good choice. Little splashes of color will often provide visual relief when used on a page which has complex illustrations.

6)    Color supports. Colors can simply be used to add an enjoyable visual feature to an idea on a page.

In short, the intelligent use of color is something which printers have known about and taken advantage of ever since – well, ever since there was printing. Contact Conquest Graphics today and we’ll use our high quality four color presses to give you the highest quality color at a very reasonable price.

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Pretty much everyone enjoys a good dirty joke (well, almost everyone), but perhaps an advertising campaign that consists solely of crass humor is a little too much of a good thing.  The tawdry humor often overrides the intended message, and the target audience is left remembering only the scandalous parts, while they disregard the product being advertised.

Examples abound, but in a post sort of discouraging this type of marketing – or at least sort of ENcouraging the alternative – I don’t want to bombard you with all sorts of YouTube clips of dirty, funny ads.  Well, not too many.

The first example is from a blog post I found that talked about a student loan consolidation piece of snail mail that featured an obscene hand gesture.  Bizarre.  Take a look.

Another thing that is a little beyond the realm of good taste – at least to a lot of people, was the Superbowl 2010 eTrade ad with the baby explaining last night’s whereabouts to his baby girlfriend. It was one thing when the baby only talked about diversifying his portfolio, but now he’s apparently so grown up that he’s cheating on his girlfriend with a “milk hound.”

Aliph, a manufacturer of high-tech hands-free devices, released this little gem on the internet:

We’ve got a gorgeous bikini-clad sun goddess and a bunch of rowdy frat-type guys who get EATEN BY A SHARK while she’s on her “noise-assassinating” bluetooth. Nice.

Delivering a clean, “upright” marketing campaign can be a challenge in today’s world.  Consumers are bombarded with beautiful, half-naked people, adult language and violence in every imaginable form.  The average individual is becoming slowly desensitized to such sights and sounds and the methods are losing their effectiveness, spurring advertisers to push the boundaries of acceptable material further and further in an attempt to be the most extreme.

Marketing guru Liz Goodgold from Red Fire Branding lists a number of reasons why you might not want to resort to vulgar language in your marketing – and I think her points can be applied to the sex and violence as well. In a nutshell, she says that:

It is a cheap and easy way to get attention – which makes you look cheap and easy.

Beware of the spam filter – because if you send out vulgar or course material it is likely to get blocked.

People might hesitate to redistribute your materials if they find them questionable.

If you insult people in print or media, how are they going to react to you in person? This isn’t a movie – you can’t go in, drop the f-bomb, and expect them to give you lots of money.

You could lose corporate interest. Large companies have too much to lose by allowing questionable content through.

It comprises your brand in every way. Once you go vulgar, sexy, or violent, it is very hard to come back from that. If you shock people once, you have to go even further to shock them again, and not only that your brand is forever (in many cases) associated with marketing you attach to it.

In a world where we are constantly faced with images of tragedy and war, abuse and degradation, it is often a welcome change to come across marketing that is wholesome and genuine.  People like to be reminded that the world can be a better place and that good manners and a positive outlook offer their own rewards. What can it hurt? In these days, a “clean” campaign might stand out more than a “dirty” one.

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Here are some ideas which businesses can consider for

1)    The Piggyback. Let’s say that you are a purveyor of fine wine. There is a specialty shop in town that sells cheeses and certain specialty foods. But they do not carry wines. You make a financial contribution to their next mailing and they include your slip sheet in their mailing.

2)    The Reverse Piggyback. Same thing as the Piggyback except someone pays you to include their information in your mailing.

3)    The Brochure Exchange. You want to put your brochures around in various retail establishments, but you have to give something to get something. You agree to take the other guy’s brochure. Let’s say you want to repeat the process twenty times. You’ll need a brochure display rack on the premises. Sure, you’re taking up your own valuable space advertising for others, but they’re doing the same for you.

4)    The Community Newspaper Flyer Deal. You want a cheap way to get your flyers out to everyone in a twenty block area. You print the flyers and get a community newspaper to put them in their back pages. They probably have a program for this already, but you can add a twist: you personally insert the flyers, saving their labor costs. This should make it very cheap for you to get your flyers distributed.

5)    The Postcard Raffle. You decide to give a prize to one out of the thousands of people who you send a postcard to. In order to win the prize, the individual has to link to a personal url and go to your website. A few marketing-related questions have to be answered, and the person of course has an opportunity to browse your site. One responder wins the prize, but your creative use of postcards may bring you much needed exposure.

At Conquest Graphics we’ve helped customers through good times and lean. We can help you with marketing ideas that will suit any budget. Contact us today.

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Godin is widely credited with expanding and promoting the concept of permission marketing.  In today’s world of email and internet shopping, permission marketing has made giant strides in drawing customers to businesses by putting the potential clients at ease by allowing them to feel more in control of a buying situation.  The concept is relatively simple. The marketer must obtain either explicit or implicit permission to approach a potential client with the means to making a possible purchase.  The upside for the customer being that will not be bombarded by unwanted solicitations, providing them with a sense of control and security when shopping and considering purchases.

Simple, subtle ideas such as this can be found in all of Seth Godin’s works.  He is a highly regarded public speaker, and has written over a dozen best-selling books, including “All Marketers are Liars” and “Unleashing the Ideavirus.”  He is also credited with expanding the marketing dictionary with the terms he has defined to clearly and effortlessly through his work.  In addition to his published works, he also maintains the most successful marketing blog on the internet, sethgodin.typepad.com.

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