Print Prattle with your host, Dwayne Crackle

Marketing Humor, Print Media, Traditional Media — By jwilliamson on December 28, 2011 6:48 am

“Good afternoon, and welcome to Print Prattle. I am your host, Dwayne Crackle, your prince of prints, your impresario of the press, your expert on all things printing.

“I call myself The Opinionator.

“And we come to you every week by radio from the home offices of Conquest Graphics, our sponsor. Conquest Graphics, where our motto is: We’re not just a color copier and a PayPal account.

“With me as always is amiable sidekick, Whatsisname. How are you this evening?”

“Doing well, Dwayne. And The Wife is doing well also.”

“Yes. The Wife, glad to hear it. Give old Whatsername my best. Well, there’s some news, isn’t there?”

“Dwayne, the good old post office is closing some doors.”

“I heard that. Not as much first class mail or bill paying going on. A lot of it is migrating to the ‘internets’.”

“That’s exactly what’s going on.”

“But you know what we say: go with the flow. We believe that using the internet is a great way to build a printing business. You’re still going to have printed products, by the trainload. It’s just a matter of how you get the order.”

“You also have to know who you can trust, Dwayne. There’s a lot of less-than-stellar work being done these days and sold over the internet.”

“Right you are. Well, why don’t we take a call? Hello, Ma’am? Are you there?”

“Yes. Dwayne..?”

“Yes, this is Dwayne Crackle, and you’re on Print Prattle. And who’s calling?”

“This is Eustacia Jenkins from Jackson, Mississippi.”

“Eustacia? How’d you get a moniker like that? What’s wrong – did your parents not like you when you were born? Did they slap you on the wrong end?”

“No, no. It’s an old family name.”

“I see. Well, what kind of printing problem are you experiencing?”

“Have you ever heard of the UDC?”

“The UDC? Now, Eustacia, this is not a medical talk show. We don’t do family planning here.”

“The UDC is the United Daughters of the Confederacy.”

“Hey, Eustacia! Hate to break the news to you, but the Civil War is over.”

“As we say here in Mississippi, ‘That’s a matter of opinion’. We’re a ladies organization and we want to produce a brochure commemorating the one hundred fiftieth anniversary of the Confederate victory at the battle of Grand Gulf. The problem is, we don’t know how to go about having a brochure printed. What are the common mistakes that we should avoid?”

“That’s actually a great question, Eustacia. I’d say the first mistake you should avoid is this: don’t do business with a guy named Guido working out of the back of his Cadillac.”

“We don’t have many people named Guido here in Mississippi.”

“OK. Then don’t do business with a guy named Bubba working out of his pick-up truck.”

“We do have a lot of Bubbas.”

“The point I am trying to make, Eustacia, is that you should find yourself a full-service printing firm like Conquest that can help you design, size and price your brochure to meet your exact needs.”

“That sounds like a reasonable suggestion.”

“Also, Eustacia, check out their website. See whether they have total website security. Look for logos from Verisign and McAfee. You’ll see these logos on the Conquest website.”

“Noted. Anything else?”

“Look at the guarantees they offer. Make sure they give you a chance to address any problems. If they stand behind their work as well as Conquest Graphics offers to do, you can rest assured you’re dealing with a straight-up company.”

“Good. Any other ideas?”

“Make sure they have processes which are environmentally friendly, the way Conquest does. That’s important to a lot of people.”

“Well, Mister Crackle, I think you’ve given us girls a lot to consider: full-service, secure, environmentally friendly, and a company that stands behind their work. If Conquest Graphics offers all that, maybe we should place our order with you.”

“I was thinking the very same thing, Eustacia.”

Related articles

• Nathan Hilb, Print Detective (bsfreemarketing.com)
• Conquest Graphics: When the Print You Demand Needs to Be the Best (richmondvabusiness.com)
• What to Look for When Selecting Your Print and Design Partner (printdesigntips.com)
• One Calendar Markets Your Company for 12 Months (conquestgraphics.com)

Tags: business, conquest, daughters of the confederacy, internet, paypal, printed products, printing business